Tuesday, February 5, 2013

February 5, 2013

Wow...just about two years have past and everything in my life has changed, except the fact that no matter where you are, I still love you and pray that you ended up with a great life with great parents who love you.
My heart still breaks when I think about you and how much you meant to me.  You changed my life before I ever met you and I will never be the same person...but I changed for the better.  You made me feel love like I never had before and probably never will again.
It is hard to talk about losing you...you were never really mine to begin with, but my heart didn't know that. 
I very often think about what my life would be like if the person I had called your father (sorry about that, you did luck out in that regard) would have been more honest about his choices...if I had the time to pursue adopting you on my own.  Where would the two of us be today!  You'd be about ready to turn two and I know I'd be so proud of you! 
But instead, I just love you...who you were to me and I hope that your birth parents have been able to forgive me for everything that happened over those few days 2 years ago. 
I needed to read this so I could try to face losing you, the emptiness I will have in my heart with a place marked only for you, Bryson David. 
So I will try now to say goodbye...but I will always love you and always pray that you are a happy and healthy boy who grows into a successful young man with worlds of happiness always.
Love,
(Almost) Mom...

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